Co-parenting mediation
Co-parenting mediation is an effective way of sorting out child arrangements between separated parents without involving the court or solicitors. Two trained mediators will help you and your ex-partner agree on where the children should live, how they share time between you, what type of contact takes place and when.
Matters we can help with:
- Communication breakdown about the children
- Disagreements about contact / time with children
- Tension around handovers
- Rules and boundaries
- Involvement of new partners
- Day-to-day routines
7 reasons to use co-parenting mediation:
Mediation is a safe place where people in conflict can come together to hold a difficult conversation. It involves a neutral third party – the mediators, who help people to talk about the issues they face and give them the opportunity to find a shared solution they are both happy with.
1. It puts the child(ren) first, encouraging you to co-parent well together, even when you are living separately or have new families.
2. It puts you in control. It is you and your ex-partner who will make all decisions, not a judge or the mediator.
3. It’s quicker and cheaper than court proceedings.
4. The mediators are neutral: All our mediators are trained to work with people whose relationship has broken down. They will act impartially to avoid conflicts of interest.
5. It’s confidential. No information will be passed on to anyone unless you agree to it, or there’s a safeguarding concern.
6. A safe environment for communication. At the beginning of the meeting ground rules will be agreed, ensuring that you can speak freely and be listened to respectfully.
7. Long-lasting agreements. Although agreements made in mediation are not legally binding, in our experience, arrangements made voluntarily are more likely to last than court orders, as they reflect the needs of parents and their children. Mediation can also help restore communication and rebuild trust.
How much does co-parenting mediation cost?
Co-parenting mediation is free for Wandsworth residents whose gross annual income is less than £41,500. For those above the threshold, we charge a flat fee (if the other party does not earn over £41,500, they do not have to pay):
- £150 per party for the first meeting with the mediators and the first mediation of up to 2 hours.
- £100 per party if you would like a further mediation.
These rates are significantly discounted from our mediators’ standard rates for this work.
VAT is not payable. The income that we generate is used to fund mediations for those who cannot afford to pay.
How does co-parenting mediation work?
Getting started
- You may have been referred by a social worker, Citizens Advice or the Family Information Service, or found us directly.
- Our case managers will contact you first to explain how mediation works.
- With your permission, we’ll then contact your ex-partner. If everyone agrees to go ahead, we’ll allocate two mediators with the right experience for your case and arrange an initial meeting or Zoom call.
Individual meetings
- The mediators meet with each of you separately, usually on the same day one after another. Each meeting lasts around an hour. If things are particularly difficult between you, we can arrange staggered timings so you don’t have to be in the same place at the same time.
- The meeting is a chance to talk through your situation and clarify what you’d like to achieve. Everything discussed is confidential and will not be shared with your ex-partner — except where there is a safeguarding concern that requires action.
- If everyone is willing to move forward, a joint session will be arranged.
Joint session
- The joint session takes place in person or on Zoom and lasts around two hours.
- If you’d prefer not to meet face to face, we can arrange for you to be in separate rooms with the mediators moving between you.
- The mediators will help keep the discussion focused on the issues, so you can work out practical solutions together. They won’t take sides or try to influence your decisions.
- If an agreement is reached, it can be written down and signed by everyone. It isn’t legally binding, but is made in good faith.
After the session
- Our case managers will follow up three to four weeks after the joint session to see how things are going.
- A second session can be arranged — a week or a month later — to review how agreements are working and make any new ones if needed.
- For more about the process and timing, visit our FAQ page.
Co-parenting mediation Questions
We have a team of co-parenting mediators who are trained specifically in this type of mediation and have their own personal supervisors. They all offer their time and skills to WMS without charging us. The majority of our mediators are Wandsworth residents and are looking to invest in their local community.
We always have 2 mediators on each case who have the right skill set and experience for the particular case.
Our mediators are fully trained to conduct sessions online.
Online mediation means you can resolve disputes quicker, and from the comfort of your home. All you need is a computer or mobile phone, a webcam and a quiet location. Our dedicated case managers will provide detailed instructions and guide you through the set-up.
If your ex-partner decides they do not want to use mediation, then individual coaching with two of our trained coaches could be helpful to allow you to reflect on the issues and how you might approach things differently to reduce stress and anxiety– click here for more details.
Unfortunately, we do not deal with C100 forms, MIAMs (Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings), finances or any other matters relating to divorce or relationship breakdown. We focus only on co-parenting issues, including contact arrangements, parental responsibilities and communication issues between separated parents.
For assistance with MIAMs, please search for a divorce mediator by postcode on the Family Mediation Council website. Alternatively, you can contact one of the following mediators directly. These are all experienced family mediators who either volunteer with us currently, or have done so in the recent past.
- Mohammed Ali Islam – https://mutual-mediation.co.uk/types-of-mediation/
- Caroline Dunne https://www.bridgefamilymediation.co.uk/
- Lizzie Haynes – https://www.lhmediation.com/family-mediation/
- Philippa Hemery – https://onepumpcourt.co.uk/barrister/philippa-hemery/
- Esi Kpeglo – https://www.meyaassociates.com/mediation.html
- Lucy Thomas – https://www.lucythomasmediation.co.uk/what-is-family-mediation/
Legal advice:
- Citizens Advice:
This article covers a lot of information and also outlines what options are available to you if you don’t wish to mediate.
- The Law Society (website)
A free service for anyone looking for information about organisations or people providing legal services in England and Wales that are regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA).
- The RCJ Advice Bureau Family Legal Centre (website)
Legal advice about family matters, open 9.30am – 4.30pm Monday to Friday.
- London South Bank University Legal Advice Clinic (website)
Free public drop-in advice service staffed by LSBU law students working under the supervision of practising solicitors.
- Advice Now Guides (website)
Clear and helpful advice on a range of topics.
Well-being support:
- Balham Community Centre – Counselling Service (website)
“Offer a professional, confidential counselling service, addressing issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, bereavement, relationship difficulties, and low self-esteem. We work with individuals, couples and families. We are committed to making counselling affordable for everyone in our community. Fees/concessions are agreed with you at your initial meeting, based in your individual circumstances.”
- Talk Wandsworth (website)
“Talk Wandsworth is part of the Department of Health’s Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) initiative. The service is provided by South West London and St George’s Mental Health NHS Trust. We offer: access to a range of talking therapies for people with common mental health problems and everyday challenges. We provide treatments that are recommended by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE).”
tel: 020 3513 6264, choose option 4 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)
- Wandsworth Wellbeing Hub (website)
“Free and impartial NHS service which aims to help patients and the public to find organisations and services to support their health and wellbeing needs”
tel. 020 3880 0366 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm), waccg.wandsworthhub@nhs.net
Family Support:
- Care for the Family (website)
“A charity supporting all aspects of parenting, including bereavement, divorce, single parenting”.
- Homestart (website)
“Home-Start offers support, friendship and practical help to parents with young children in the local community. We have three main services:
- Core home visiting – one-to-one weekly support for families with children 3 months-5 years old
- Bump to Baby – one-to-one weekly support starting from pregnancy and newborn stage
- Hubs – group activities for Home Start families”
- Wandsworth Young People’s Health Agency (website)
1-2-1 counselling for young people in relation to drugs, alcohol and emotional health, such as bullying, coping with issues at home or school, anxiety. The service sees young people, aged 11-18 years, at various locations across Wandsworth, depending on where the young person lives, goes to school or feels comfortable meeting. Anyone can refer a young person to this agency and young people can self refer.
If you have more questions, please visit our FAQs or contact us.