Inter-generational mediation
When a family conflict gets out of control, it can make life very difficult for everyone. Inter-generational mediation helps resolve issues between parents and children over 15, siblings, cousins, grandparents, or any other adult relatives. WMS is an independent charity with over 20 years’ experience supporting Wandsworth residents with free inter-generational mediation.
Matters that often come up in our work include:
- Disagreements over living arrangements
- Responsibilities and expectations
- Cultural or generation gap
- Guardianship, care for elderly or vulnerable relatives
- Communication breakdown
- Aggressive or authoritarian behaviour on either side
What is inter-generational mediation?
Mediation provides a safe space for family members to come together and talk about the difficult issues they are facing. Two trained mediators will facilitate the discussion, encouraging constructive communication and helping the family work out their problems. Many of our cases involve teenagers and young adults who, as they approach adulthood, are finding themselves in high levels of conflict with their parents. We found that in the vast majority of cases where people agree to meet each other with the mediators, important steps towards resolving the conflict are made.
Inter-generational mediation is:
1. Empowering – you and your family are in full control of how the process goes, and all decisions made. If you wish, you can walk away at any time.
2. Impartial – the mediators are impartial and seek to help all family members equally. They do not make judgements or express opinions about who is right or wrong.
3. Independent – our service is run by trained volunteers and is not part of Wandsworth Council, police, social services or any other agency.
4. Confidential – you can speak to us freely. Things that are discussed will never be shared with anyone else, unless everyone agrees or there is a safeguarding issue.
5. Forward looking – encouraging parties to move forward to stop a conflict from escalating and detrimentally affecting the relationship.
6. Improves communication – with workable, long-lasting solutions, leading to less arguments in the future.
How does inter-generational mediation work?
Getting started
- You may have been referred by a social worker or Citizens Advice, or found us directly.
- Our case managers will contact you first to explain how mediation works and talk through whether it’s right for your situation.
- With your permission, we’ll then contact the family member(s) involved. If everyone agrees to go ahead, we’ll arrange meetings with two trained mediators with the right experience for your case.
Individual meetings
- The mediators meet with each family member separately first, to find out more about the issues.
- Each meeting lasts around an hour and can take place at your home, at our offices near Clapham Junction, or on Zoom.
- Everything discussed is confidential and will not be shared with other family members or anyone who referred you — except where there is a safeguarding concern that requires action.
- If everyone agrees to go ahead, we’ll arrange a joint session. We can offer up to two joint sessions free of charge.
Joint session
- The session takes place over 2-3 hours, in person or on Zoom.
- It’s completely voluntary — you can ask for a break or leave at any point.
- The mediators will agree some simple ground rules at the start, including listening to and respecting each other’s feelings and opinions.
- Each family member will have a chance to talk about the issues they’re facing and what they hope to achieve.
- The mediators will facilitate the discussion, helping everyone stay focused on what they want to achieve and work out practical solutions.
- After the session, the mediators will send everyone a written summary of what was discussed and any agreements made. This isn’t legally binding, but is made in good faith with the aim of moving things forward.
After the session
- Our case managers will follow up four to six weeks after the first session to see how things are going.
- Further mediation or individual coaching can be arranged if needed.
- For more about the process, visit our FAQ page.
Inter-generational mediation Questions
Inter-generation mediation is free for Wandsworth residents.
We have a team of inter-generational mediators who have been specifically trained and are supervised by us. They all offer their time and skills to us without charging us. The majority of our inter-generational mediators are Wandsworth residents who are looking to invest in their local community.
We always have two mediators on each case who have the right skill set and experience for the parties.
We have seen a huge increase in demand for our service since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. Our mediators are fully trained to conduct mediation and conflict coaching sessions online.
Online mediation means you can resolve disputes quicker, and from the comfort of your home. All you need is a computer or mobile phone, a webcam and a quiet location. Our dedicated case managers will provide detailed instructions and guide you through the set-up.
If your family member decides they do not want to mediate, then individual coaching could be helpful. It is a free session with two trained coaches who will help you reflect on the issues and work out how you might approach things differently to reduce stress and anxiety – click here for more details.
If you have more questions, please visit our FAQs or contact us.